New year, new friends
Jan. 15th, 2026 04:27 pmAbout me:
My name is Katie. I'm 47 years old, and this summer will mark my 25th year of journaling on LJ/DW/both.
I'm a writer by profession, primarily of literary fiction with occasional book reviews for variety. I live in Philadelphia with my partner of 27 years (she's a high school physics teacher). We have a pair of eight-month-old kittens named Oscar and Zorro. I'm the oldest of three sisters in a pretty close-knit family. My sisters have five kids between them, and being an aunt is basically my favorite thing.
I love books and am always reading. Favorite authors include E.M. Forster, Marilynne Robinson, Leo Tolstoy, Virginia Woolf, Ursula K. Le Guin, Lauren Groff, Andrea Barrett.... The list could go on and on. I also love the outdoors and learning about nature. I've been a birdwatcher for years; more recently I've gotten into things like butterflies and insects, reptiles, wildflowers, and more. In summer, my favorite thing is finding wild orchids. My partner and I like to travel, and when we do, I use it as an opportunity to learn about the amazing variety of nature in other places.
In case you haven't already guessed, I'm a very introverted person. I spend most of my time at home, where I keep myself busy writing, reading, or in the kitchen. I like cooking, baking, and food preservation, and I'm always working on some sort of kitchen project or trying to teach myself a new skill.

About my journal:
My journal began as a place for me to keep track of my reading, and that's still the subject I write about most often. Other frequent topics include the interests mentioned above: writing, nature, cooking and baking. I tend to post more about what I'm thinking than about what I'm doing at any given time, although I do sometimes use my journal to keep track goals or record projects that I'm working on. I often include photos. I would say I post about once a week...but realistically it's probably a bit less than that.
If you're looking for a friend who comments on every single post, I'm probably not the right person for you. I do like to interact and I always read my friends page, but I prefer to comment only when I have something worth saying. Also, I've found over the years that I don't mesh well with extremely prolific posters. Once a day is fine, but if it's more than that I have trouble keeping up.
My journal is friends-locked for privacy, but I will be happy to add anyone who's interested in checking it out. And I won't be offended if it turns out that it's not your style.
Say hello if you think we'd get along!
Reading Wednesday
Jan. 14th, 2026 06:51 amCurrently reading: Mavericks: Life stories and lessons of history's most extraordinary misfits by Jenny Draper. This is really fun—TikTok-sized portraits of history's interesting (not always good) characters. I knew about a lot of them, like Ellen and William Craft and Noor Inayat Khan, but a lot of the others, like Eleanor Rykener and The Chevalier d'Eon, are new to me. It's very fun and conversational.
I'm smart AND stupid — it's called being flexible
Jan. 11th, 2026 03:50 pm
Gonna try to make a tradition of re-promoting myself yearly in January~
Name(s): Azure or Bede. I answer to both, so use whichever floats your boat!
Age: 20-something
Hobbies: Writing (fanfic, essays and fan analysis), drawing, editing (videos, images and gifs), coding, researching (almost exclusively things that don't matter), and gaming!
Fandoms: I mainly participate in video game fandoms! Right now, I'm really into Pokémon (my one true fandom), Cookie Run, Great God Grove, In Stars and Time, Kingdom Hearts, Vocaloid, and Splatoon. I'm at least passively interested in most Nintendo games, though. I'm also a furry (rabbit fursona)!
I mostly post about... My fandoms, non-fannish interests (including disability, queerness, the indie web, writing, art and alterhumanity), and some personal stuff!
I'm looking to meet people who... Have similar interests (whether that be fandom or non-fandom), or who just pass the vibe check and have interesting things to say.
My posting schedule tends to be... A little bit sporadic! I go through small periods of inactivity. When I come back, I always cross-post everything I've posted onto other platforms with the back-dating feature, though! I love commenting on other people's posts, and try to do it as often as possible.
When I add people, my dealbreakers are... Bigots, right-wingers, and AI "artists". Christians who try converting others, or who don't CW for religious discussion. (No offense to the latter, it's a personal thing.) Regarding fandom, I'm squicked out by Harry Potter (I'm trans; I hope you can understand!) and Hazbin Hotel, and have pedophilia/incest/rape as triggers.
Before you add me, you should know... I'm autistic and otherwise mentally disabled, so please be patient with me! I'm from the South of the USA, so I use petnames very casually ("honey, darling, dear," etc). You can also (or alternatively) add my account for my fanfic and fandom meta exclusively,
fairyfic.
![]()

(no subject)
Jan. 11th, 2026 12:31 amName: Ciacconne
Age: Mid 30s
I mostly post about: My life, health, and fandom stuff.
My hobbies are: Writing, reading, gaming, and art.
My fandoms are: Harry Potter, FF16, FF7, Frieren, Slayers, Gintama, Kekkai Sensen, YGO— basically game and anime fandoms.
I'm looking to meet people who: Share my interests and fandoms.
My posting schedule tends to be: daily/weekly/monthly/sporadic/etc — I post daily, or will try to post daily now.
When I add people, my dealbreakers are: People who are antis.
Before adding me, you should know: I focus a lot on my health, be it mental or physical.
I speak machine
Jan. 10th, 2026 10:51 pmDid birthday dinner with the gf. I realized at some point like... maybe a month ago? That I spent the entire past year telling people I was the age I actually am this year. How am I SO BAD at dates that I get my own age wrong for an entire year? I can't even blame senility, I have always been like this.
***
Finally heard back from the permit wrangler. He spoke to the engineer and the answer is no, he will not sign off on the work. This doesn't shock me. He told me the fucking contractor didn't even follow the blueprints that were used to get the permits, so he has no confidence that the foundations were actually built to spec.
So permit wrangler says he's going to go back to the city and try once again to get in touch with the original contractor. I really appreciate his commitment to trying to find a better solution, but at this point I'm kinda resigned that I'm just have to tear up the floor. I just want to get it over with.
***
So in the meantime I'm still here just cleaning and de-cluttering the rest of the house. Got a wild hair up my ass to pull apart the corner of my office where my weight bench sits and was able to vanquish much dust and dried cat-puke.
I still have too much fucking stuff. This would be simpler if I didn't have such a huge aversion to just tossing stuff into landfill. This is partially the environmentalist side of me, and partially because there was a time in my life when a third-hand hotplate might have actually saved my life. So I have trouble throwing out a perfectly functional hotplate when somebody out there might be in the same position I was in 30+ years ago. But you know, figuring how to get rid of this stuff takes time and so... Things leave, but in much smaller boxes than if I just hired a bloody dumpster.
***
The plus side of not being able to do house construction work is that I have have been spending a lot more time on my b-list, which is 1) plants and 2) family tree. The kitchen island is so huge that I have been able to devote an entire half of it to a bunch of pots that I have seeded with herbs. I installed grow lights in the chandelier[1], so it's going to be an experiment.
[1]Hauled my wobbly ass up a ladder. Did not fall off. Victory achieved.
I had the brilliant idea that if I started tossing birdseed on the deck outside my office, I would give Lord Brock something to look at that would distract him from screaming at me for attention while I'm working. This has backfired spectacularly, because now he climbs onto the window-ledge and screams at me to make the birds happen.
***
On the plus side, digging through my family tree has led me to discovering the other out queer person in my family which is pretty cool. (Statistically I figured it was unlikely I was the only one, especially given just how big Irish Catholic families tend to be.)
A question I hadn't anticipated; I keep coming across generations where there are multiple people with the same name but different birth-dates. I'm trying to figure out if they are cases where one source I'm drawing from has the wrong birth year, or if there were families where they re-used names when babies died. Like there is a French branch were they seem to have named half the boys after the father but with different middle names. Was that real? Was that just Anglos fucking up non-English names? (That happened so often with the Irish names, I don't have any problem believing they also did it to the French.) Or am I finding birth records, but not their death records in families where infant mortality was really high?
Also, I have no explanation for how researching my family name led me to an Irish vampire movie, but now I really want to see this film.
podcast friday
Jan. 9th, 2026 06:51 amAnyway.
Today I have a new podcast for you, AI Skeptics, with Cathy O'Neil and Jake Appel. Cathy O'?Neil wrote the fantastic (and still very relevant) Weapons of Math Destruction, so I was very interested in what she had to say about AI. Neither of them really come off as Professional Podcasters but the content of this is excellent and both they and their guests are insightful. "AI Versus Artists and Educators ft. Becky Jaffe" is the most recent one and most relevant to my interests.
It should be noted that folks on the podcast are skeptics rather than professional haters like me, so there's occasionally a use case, 90% of which I still disagree with. But it's an important and intelligent discussion, and the episodes are quite short and accessible.
Reading Wednesday
Jan. 7th, 2026 07:10 amSo, is it good? Yes. Do I totally get it? Not totally, though yes, more than I would have if I'd read it when I was 16. Definitely the time stuff, the illness stuff, the characters who are thinly veiled stand-ins for pre-WWI European political debates, yes. But of course, it's a very different world now—there is no longer the temptation to embrace illness as freedom, the idea that you can just convalesce for years in what amounts to a different reality, the fairy-tale world of the sanatorium. Which is why the ending hits so brutally hard. Structurally, the first half of the book is Hans Castorp's first three weeks on the mountain, and then it goes blurry, and the next seven years pass in a dreamlike state, with the changing of the seasons and the coming and going (through death and otherwise) of the patients being the only sense that time exists at all. And then there's essentially a massacre of half the cast in various ways, culminating in the arrival of WWI, and Hans disappearing into a viscerally described battlefield; time and history do exist after all, and it collides with the dream.
Reading it in 2026, of course, I am struck by the debates between Settembrini, representing humanism, and Naphta, representing totalitarianism (Catholicism/communism/fascism, but look, Mann was very much working out his political ideas in this book), but something I didn't talk about last week is Mynheer Pieter Peeperkorn (yes this is a character name) who pops up late in the book as Clavdia Chauchat's sugar daddy. He's a larger-than-life figure who gets described as kingly and charismatic despite being far too old for her, distracting Hans from the aforementioned philosophical debate with revels, partying, and a hella Freudian love triangle. I'm particularly struck by his speech patterns. Look, the guy is basically Trump; he is charismatic because the other characters (except Settembrini, who winds up being the only character who comes off well by the end) read meaning into his rambling words that isn't there. This book feels so incredibly apropos for our present day despite being over a century old.
Anyway, I finished The Magic Mountain, ask me anything lol.
Currently reading: Invisible Line by Su J. Sokol. You know, something light and fun after reading all that. Ahahaha. This is hopepunk but I'm assuming that the hope part comes in more towards the end. It was first published in 2012 and the first 50 pages were such that I had to text the author and ask if xe had like, rewritten it for the current edition to update it or something? Xe had not. I suppose the direction was obvious in 2012 where the political climate was moving but it's nonetheless one of those unsettling dystopian books, set in a crumbling fascist US rife with surveillance and police brutality.
Laek, a history teacher, Janie, his activist lawyer partner, and their two kids, Siri and Simon, are doing their best to live a normal life in New York, but Laek was a bit more of a spicy activist when he was a teenager, and his fake ID is no longer cutting it. So they make the decision to flee by bike to Montreal, which has declared itself a sanctuary city in tension with the Canadian government. It's basically too relatable, with a bunch of moments where the characters wonder if it's too much, if they should stay and fight the small battles they can or GTFO while it's still a possibility. There's a scene early on of a teachers' union meeting where a new policy means that the teachers must report their children to immigration, and it's the most accurate depiction of this kind of scenario I've run across in fiction, and yeah. If your feelings about living under fascism, or next door to fascism, are escapism, this book is going to be too real; if however, like me, you need to just read more about living under fascism, you'll be into it.
Граница участия / The Limits of Care
Jan. 7th, 2026 01:49 am
📝 Оригинальный текст записи
Сегодня хочу поделиться историей. Она произошла сегодня, но началась ещё летом 2022 года.
Вопреки внешним обстоятельствам я всё‑таки решился пройти обследование в военном госпитале. Успел буквально минута в минуту. В очереди я заметил знакомого человека в военной форме — девушку, служившую в части, с которой я начинал свой путь в армии.
Сначала я её не узнал: лицо было залито слезами, взгляд — пустой и уставший.
Немного предыстории.
Когда я только призвался, я попал в очень молодой коллектив. Многие были вчерашними студентами, кто‑то совсем юный. Тогда царила полная неразбериха: никто особо не смотрел ни на биографии, ни на навыки — нужно было просто закрыть вакантные места. Честно говоря, спустя четыре года ситуация изменилась не так уж сильно.
Коллектив был большим: молодые офицеры, простые матросы. По возрасту я был старше почти всех, кроме командира — он был примерно моего возраста. Многие приехали из других городов и сёл, и мне искренне хотелось помогать новым коллегам: с жильём, с бытом, с самыми простыми вещами. Один из них даже какое‑то время жил у меня.
Когда я освоился в работе и начал заступать на боевые дежурства, для меня стало важным знать свой состав и формировать рабочие смены. Мы все учились на ходу, но главным был результат и безопасность. Люди разные — к каждому нужен был подход. Не через приказы, а через понимание.
Среди моих подчинённых была и та самая девушка. Всё, что я знал о ней поначалу: она выходила из Мариуполя в составе группы, путь был тяжёлым. Поэтому я относился к ней и к тем ребятам особенно мягко. Но довольно быстро стало заметно: её состояние значительно тяжелее, чем у остальных. Я узнал, что её муж находится в плену.
В то время у меня было много знакомых волонтёров, достаточно влиятельных. Многие вопросы решались звонком. Видя её подавленность, я решил помочь — хотя бы узнать что‑то о нём. Мне удалось подтвердить, что он жив и официально числится в списках пленных. Я искренне подумал, что это хорошая новость.
Но она отреагировала почти безразлично.
Позже, изучив её дело глубже, я узнал, что она уже в третий раз была замужем. Все её браки — с военными — закончились драмой, и нередко с насилием, причём инициатором была она. Мне было её жаль. Я пытался поддерживать её, сглаживать углы — в том числе потому, что она должна была выполнять боевые задачи, а заменить её было некем.
В разговорах она признавалась, что не знает, чего хочет от жизни. Единственное, что понимала точно — она не хочет быть в армии. Возможно, возвращение в деревню было бы для неё спасением, но уволиться она не могла.
При этом, зная, что её муж в плену, я видел её беспорядочную личную жизнь. Это не моё дело — но мне было больно за того парня, который там, и ничего об этом не знает. Стало очевидно: для неё это не имело значения.
Многие относились к ней агрессивно, не понимая, насколько у неё нестабильное состояние. Я, по крайней мере, не допускал, чтобы у неё было оружие на моих сменах. От неё часто звучали слова о том, что жизнь для неё ничего не значит. Эти слова задели меня особенно — в войне они звучат опасно и глупо одновременно.
Я недолго служил в той части и позже перешёл туда, где мог применить свои морские гражданские навыки. До последнего я пытался поддерживать всех, но её — особенно.
Через год мне сообщили, что она попала в аварию: вместе с очередным случайным мужчиной на скорости около 170 км/ч они влетели в столб. Это уже было не в моей зоне ответственности — у неё был свой командир. Но её прежние слова о бессмысленности жизни снова всплыли у меня в голове.
И вот — спустя четыре года — я снова увидел её в госпитале. В форме. Я подошёл и спросил, как она. Чёткого ответа не получил. Она узнала меня первой, но избегала взгляда. Рядом были молодые ребята, сопровождавшие её к врачу — меня они узнали сразу.
Десяти минут общения хватило, чтобы понять: стало только хуже. Ей нужна была помощь психолога ещё тогда, а сейчас — скорее психотерапевта. Я сказал ей несколько слов поддержки — и меня вызвали на приём.
Когда я вышел, её уже не было.
Я знаю номер её командира, мог бы позвонить и настоять на помощи. Но меня об этом не просили. И, честно говоря, её состояние говорит ещё и о другом — она сама ничего не хочет менять. Это её право.
Находясь в госпитале и видя десятки, сотни искалеченных людей, такое отношение к жизни кажется мне циничным и эгоистичным.
Когда‑то я попытался помочь. Но если человек не просит, а лишь манипулирует ради внимания — любая помощь будет обесценена.
гда-то я уже пытался. Не формально, не для галочки — по-настоящему.
Я слушал, искал возможности, звонил, узнавал, брал на себя больше, чем должен был.
Но с годами я понял простую и неприятную вещь:
если человек не просит о помощи, а лишь требует внимания — любая помощь будет обесценена.
Иногда мы путаем сострадание с обязанностью спасать.
Но спасение без запроса превращается в насилие — над собой и над другим.
Человек имеет право не хотеть меняться.
Имеет право не ценить жизнь.
Даже если это больно видеть.
Я больше не беру на себя то, что мне не принадлежит.
Не потому что стал черствым, а потому что научился уважать границы — и свои, и чужие.
Иногда самый честный выбор — остановиться.
Note translated in assistance with AI.
Today I want to share a story. It happened today, but it began back in the summer of 2022.
Despite everything happening around me, I finally decided to go through medical examinations at a military hospital. I arrived exactly on time. While waiting in line, I noticed a familiar face in uniform — a woman who once served in the unit where my military service began.
At first, I didn’t recognize her. Her face was filled with tears, her eyes empty and exhausted.
A bit of background.
When I was first drafted, I ended up in a very young unit. Many had just graduated from university, some were barely adults. Back then, there was chaos — no one really paid attention to biographies or skills; vacant positions simply had to be filled. To be honest, four years later, not much has changed.
The unit was large: young officers, ordinary sailors. I was older than almost everyone, except for the commander, who was about my age. Many came from other towns and villages, and I genuinely wanted to help my new colleagues — with housing, daily life, basic things. One of them even lived at my place for a while.
Once I settled into my role and began standing combat duty, it became important for me to truly know my people and build working shifts. We were all learning, but results and safety mattered most. Everyone was different — each person required understanding, not orders.
That woman was among my personnel. At first, all I knew was that she had escaped Mariupol as part of a group. The journey had been hard, so I treated her and the others gently. But it soon became clear that her condition was much worse than the rest. I learned that her husband was in captivity.
At the time, I knew many volunteers with influence. Some issues could be solved with a phone call. Seeing her state, I decided to help — at least to find out something about him. I managed to confirm that he was alive and officially listed as a prisoner. I truly believed this was good news.
She reacted with indifference.
Later, after learning more about her case, I discovered this was her third marriage. All her husbands were military men, and none of the marriages survived. There was a lot of drama and even violence — often initiated by her. I felt sorry for her. I tried to support her, to smooth things out — partly because she still had to perform her duties, and there was no one to replace her.
In conversations, she admitted she didn’t know what she wanted from life. The only thing she knew for sure was that she didn’t want to be in the army. Returning to her village might have saved her, but leaving wasn’t an option.
At the same time, knowing her husband was in captivity, I saw how chaotic her personal life was. It wasn’t my business — but I felt pain for the man who was imprisoned and unaware of it all. It became clear that it didn’t matter to her.
Many treated her aggressively, unable to see how unstable she was. At the very least, I made sure she never had a weapon during my shifts. She often said her life meant nothing. Those words affected me deeply — during war, they are both foolish and dangerous.
I didn’t serve long in that unit and later moved to a position closer to the sea, where I could use my civilian skills. Until the very end, I tried to support everyone — her especially.
A year later, I was told she had been in a car accident. Together with another random man, they crashed into a pole at around 170 km/h. It was no longer my responsibility — she had her own commander. But her words about life being meaningless stayed with me.
Four years later, I saw her again in the hospital. In uniform. I asked how she was. There was no clear answer. She recognized me first but avoided my gaze. Young soldiers accompanying her seemed to recognize me immediately.
Ten minutes were enough to understand: things had only gotten worse. She needed a psychologist back then; now, probably a psychotherapist. I said a few words of support — and was called in by the doctor.
When I came out, she was gone.
I know her commander’s number. I could have asked him to intervene. But no one asked me. And honestly, her condition also shows something else — she doesn’t want to change anything. That is her right.
Standing in a hospital among dozens, hundreds of broken people, such an attitude toward life feels cynical and selfish.
I tried to help once. But when a person doesn’t ask for help and only manipulates for attention, any help will inevitably be devalued.
Being in a military hospital, among dozens and hundreds of broken bodies,
I felt especially sharply how cynical the phrase
“I don’t care whether I live or not” can sound.
In a place where people cling to every breath,
indifference to life stops being just a personal tragedy —
it becomes painful noise.
I am not a judge.
But I know one thing for certain:
help imposed on someone who is not ready to accept it does not heal — it only creates an illusion of care.
Once, I already tried.
And if a person does not want to move toward life,
no external voice can take that step for them.
Sometimes responsibility is not intervention —
but knowing when to step back.
I try to do this once a year:
Jan. 6th, 2026 10:17 amAge: 58
I mostly post about: Day to day life, random thoughts, whatever I'm watching/reading, etc. It's more or less stream of consciousness, though I try to link certain items that I consider relevant; books, restaurants, significant locations, etc. In the past, I've used Amazon to link them, but as I have grown to really hate Jeff Bezos for what he's done to the Washington Post, I now use Barnes and Noble for book links.
My hobbies are: TTRPs (primarily Dungeons and Dragons), community theater, cooking, hiking, camping, wine collecting, computer programming (also my profession but I like to code for fun as well), writing, reading, building things, tinkering, drawing, and more things I generally have no actual time for.
My fandoms are: Star Trek, Doctor Who, Marvel (Silver Age), A Song of Ice and Fire, Remembrance of Earth's Past aka The Three Body Problem, et al. Some of my favorite authors include Douglas Adams, George R.R. Martin, James S. A. Corey, Tanith Lee, Michael Moorock, Brad Meltzer, John Steinbeck, and William Gibson. There are more, but that's who comes to mind.
I'm looking to meet people who: are basically cool and like to interact. I have a presence on other socials but I don't like using them because they either have become echo chambers, or are trying to push things on me in which I have no interest. I'm not looking to share memes and I have no interest in someone's OnlyFans page. I have nothing against people who have that sort of thing, but it doesn't interest me. I'd rather interact with someone who might want to discuss the Medici family of Renaissance Florence, or discuss the actual mechanics of LLMs rather than rant about how AI is going to destroy the world. Want to talk meaningfully about physics, archeology, musicology, mythology, literature, or the nature of consciousness? You might be someone I'd like to know.
My posting schedule tends to be: It's been kind of sporadic over the last year, but I'm looking to make a fresh start this year. I won't post daily, probably, but weekly at least.
When I add people, my dealbreakers are: If you're MAGA, move on. I probably represent everything you hate, and I don't have time to educate people in a cult. I do not tolerate hate speech, homophobia, transphobia, incels, etc.
Before adding me, you should know: I'm an atheist for starters. I don't have a problem with people of faith, provided they don't try to rub my nose in it. I don't generally countenance evangelicals or fundamentalists, or anyone who feels the need to inject some performative demonstration of their supposed piety into literally every situation. I've known many people like this, and I lose patience with them very quickly.
I'm a 2 time cancer survivor. The last bout was diagnosed 4 years ago, and nearly killed me. I've written about some of the experience here, but may expand on it more in the future, now that I feel like I'm in a reasonably good headspace to think about what I went through.
I try to be polite and respectful of everyone with whom I interact. I expect the same from others. Slurs, insults, etc., are not tolerated. The basic rule of interacting with me: Don't be a dick. It's pretty much the closest thing I have to a philosophy of life.
Most of my journal is friends locked, but I'm happy to add people if they're interested. I've met some wonderful people here, and am always happy to meet more.
Hello Possible 2026 Friends
Jan. 5th, 2026 07:23 pm<p><b>My hobbies are:</b></p> I mainly just surf the net and collect physical media. I prefer it over streaming.
(no subject)
Jan. 5th, 2026 06:53 pm
📝 Оригинальный текст записи
Приветствую вас, дорогие читатели.
Сегодня будет история об одном далёком лете. Но сперва — несколько слов о настоящем.
Уже больше месяца я не читаю новости. Совсем. Ни городские, ни глобальные. За это время, по большому счёту, ничего не изменилось — кроме привычного роста цен на всё и уже ставших обыденными отключений электроэнергии.
Одно важное впечатление от поездки в горы: большая часть людей, которых я там видел, словно из другого мира. Не просто без войны — в их мире в целом всё хорошо. Есть деньги, свои заботы и проблемы, совершенно не связанные с тем, чем живут обычные люди.
Пока у меня есть отпуск, я хочу сделать несколько важных для себя вещей: сдать кровь в донорский центр, собрать одежду, которой не пользуюсь. В моём гардеробе сейчас больше военной формы, чем обычных вещей, но есть и то, что я уже никогда не надену. Лучше поделиться этим и освободить место — возможно, для чего-то нового.
Помимо того, что я всё чаще разговариваю со своими котами (и они, надо признать, всё охотнее отвечают), сегодня я буквально отдал им свой ужин. Я хотел приготовить что-то вроде шницеля, но без панировки — коты приняли за меня иное решение.
А теперь ближе к делу. Летняя ночная история.
В почти школьном возрасте каждое лето мы с разными компаниями молодых людей выбирались на неделю или меньше к морю, в курортную Затоку. Помню это, как сейчас: я за рулём своей первой машины, которую дал отец; нас пятеро парней; открытые окна, радио на полной громкости и дорога к морю. С собой — минимум вещей, зато много закуски и дешёвого алкоголя.
Затока стоит прямо на берегу моря. Коттеджи, старые советские базы отдыха — в одной из таких мы и поселились. Сейчас эта зона полностью закрыта для туристов: там почти никого нет, кроме нескольких местных жителей и сотен бродячих собак, живущих среди территорий, разрушенных ракетными ударами.
Тогда комфорт был неважен. Ни кондиционер, ни телевизор — только кровать и близость к морю, магазину и, конечно, ночным дискотекам, которыми славилось это место.
Вечером по приезде мы сразу отпраздновали заселение, встретили знакомых и ещё больше увеличили компанию. Проснулись лишь после обеда следующего дня — в самый солнцепёк. С головной болью и почти без сил поплелись на пляж. Большая компания молодых людей не выбивалась из общей картины — таких там было много. Все приезжие, из разных уголков Украины и других стран.
Так продолжалось несколько дней подряд. Это был конец лета: световой день заметно сокращался, и мы уходили с пляжа всё раньше — обгоревшие, уставшие, но довольные.
Конечно, в такие места ездят не только ради моря, но и ради курортных романов. Скажу сразу: из всех поездок всё заканчивалось одинаково — никаких «побед» ни у кого. Алкоголя было столько, что знакомиться на дискотеках было попросту некому, а в таком состоянии — и невозможно. Зато разговоров всегда было больше, чем действий.
Эта поездка не стала исключением. Более того, совершенно случайно она пришлась на мой день рождения. Я всегда куда-то уезжал в это время, и здесь это был идеальный повод — и совсем рядом.
Мой день рождения начался после полуночи. Мы праздновали компанией из десяти человек. Кто-то остался в домике — устал и не мог идти дальше. Это были последние дни перед отъездом. Я не хотел много пить — был за рулём, да и хотелось веселья, а не забвения.
Ближе к четырём утра, когда мы возвращались к домикам через центральную аллею, полную баров, музыки и дискотек, я увидел, как огромный мужчина тащит женщину за волосы, кричит на неё и явно собирается ударить. Мне это категорически не понравилось, и я решил вмешаться.
На моё замечание мужчина отреагировал — отпустил женщину. Но она не убежала, а осталась рядом, пока он кому-то звонил. Вскоре меня и мою компанию окружила толпа.
Скажу сразу: я не знал, что это был хозяин одного из заведений, который «воспитывал» свою проститутку. Мне просто стало её жаль. В итоге он её не тронул, но эти люди пользуются «уважением», и я его нарушил. А значит — нужно было принимать последствия.
Двое из нашей компании побежали будить остальных в домике, хотя это уже не имело значения. На центральной аллее стояли шесть человек, окружённые плотным кольцом, а вокруг — зеваки, просто смотрящие.
От меня потребовали извинений за вмешательство. Я отказался. Тогда сказали собрать тех, кто может постоять за себя, и готовиться к последствиям.
Минут через пятнадцать вокруг собралась большая толпа — людям хотелось зрелища. Те двое, что побежали в домик, так и не вернулись, позвонив и сказав, что остальных не будет. Мы остались одни.
Женщина, которую я хотел защитить, просто ушла. Я спросил, всё ли с ней в порядке, и услышал короткое: «Всё хорошо. Это не ваше дело». Я помню, как она исчезала в толпе, а кольцо вокруг нас становилось всё плотнее.
По счастливой случайности кто-то вызвал полицию. Ехала она долго. Мы около часа держались, не реагируя на провокации. Рассвет был уже близко, а людям всё ещё нужно было шоу.
В какой-то момент из толпы вышли двое крепких мужчин, подошли ко мне, спросили, что происходит. Узнав, они достали удостоверения народных депутатов. Но толпе было всё равно, кого бить. Им сказали убрать удостоверения — иначе они будут залиты кровью.
По странному стечению обстоятельств кто-то из них быстро позвонил в Киев. И только после этого наконец дали команду полиции приехать и развести всех по углам.
Добавлю от себя: с тех пор мало что изменилось. Многие проблемы у нас до сих пор решаются не по закону, а по знакомству и телефонному звонку.
В этой истории чудом никто не пострадал, хотя угрозы звучали вполне конкретные — «твоя голова будет как арбуз».
Мораль проста: меня не просили, я вмешался и мог серьёзно пострадать. Мне просто повезло. Никто и не собирался благодарить.
Иногда действительно стоит сначала спросить, нужна ли помощь, прежде чем вмешиваться.
Note translated in assistance with AI.
Today I want to tell a story about a distant summer. But first, a few words about the present.
For more than a month now, I haven’t been reading the news at all — neither local nor global. In essence, nothing has changed since then, except for the familiar rise in prices and the already routine power outages.
One strong impression from my trip to the mountains: most of the people I saw there seemed to come from another world. Not just a world without war — but a world where, overall, everything is fine. They have money, their own worries and problems, completely unrelated to the reality ordinary people live in.
While I still have my leave, I want to do a few important things for myself: donate blood, sort through clothes I no longer wear. My wardrobe now contains more military uniforms than civilian clothes, but there are things I will never wear again. It’s better to share them and make space — perhaps for something new.
Besides the fact that I talk more and more with my cats (and they increasingly respond in kind), today I literally gave them my dinner. I wanted to make something like a schnitzel, just without breading — the cats made a different decision for me.
Now to the point. A summer night story.
When I was almost school-aged, every summer we would go with different groups of young people to the sea, to the resort town of Zatoka, for a week or less. I remember it clearly: I was driving my first car, given to me by my father; five guys inside; windows open, radio blasting, heading toward the sea. We took very few вещей, but plenty of snacks and cheap alcohol.
Zatoka lies right on the seashore. Cottages, old Soviet holiday bases — we stayed at one of them. Today, this area is completely closed to tourists: almost no one is there except a few locals and hundreds of stray dogs living among territories destroyed by missile strikes.
Back then, comfort didn’t matter. No air conditioning, no television — just a bed and proximity to the sea, shops, and, of course, night discos, for which the place was famous.
On the evening of our arrival, we celebrated immediately, met some acquaintances, and expanded our group even more. We only woke up after noon the next day, right in the scorching sun. With headaches and barely any energy, we went to the beach. A large group of young people didn’t stand out — there were many like us, all visitors from different parts of Ukraine and other countries.
This went on for several days. It was the end of summer: daylight grew shorter, and we left the beach earlier and earlier — sunburned, exhausted, but satisfied.
Of course, people went there not only for the sea but also for resort romances. I’ll say in advance: all such trips ended the same way — no “victories” for anyone. There was so much alcohol that there was simply no one to meet at the discos, and in that state, it was impossible anyway. There were always more conversations than actions.
This trip was no exception. And, by coincidence, it fell on my birthday. I always escaped somewhere for it, and this time it was the perfect excuse — and very close to home.
My birthday began after midnight. We celebrated with a group of ten people. Some stayed behind in the house — too tired to continue. These were the last days before departure. I didn’t want to drink much — I was driving, and I wanted joy, not oblivion.
Closer to four in the morning, while walking back to our houses along the central alley filled with bars, music, and discos, I saw a huge man dragging a woman by the hair, shouting at her, clearly about to hit her. I didn’t like it at all, and I intervened.
After my remark, the man let her go. But she didn’t run away — she stayed nearby while he made a phone call. Soon my group and I were surrounded by a crowd.
I didn’t know then that he was the owner of one of the establishments, scolding his prostitute. I simply felt sorry for her. He didn’t hurt her, but these people command a certain “respect,” and I had violated it — which meant consequences.
Two of my friends ran to wake the others at the house, though it no longer mattered. Six of us stood on the central alley, surrounded by a tightening ring of people, while others simply watched.
They demanded that I apologize for interfering. I refused. Then they told us to gather anyone who could stand up for themselves and prepare for what would follow.
About fifteen minutes later, a large crowd had gathered — people wanted a spectacle. The two who ran never returned, calling to say the others wouldn’t come. We were on our own.
The woman I wanted to protect simply left. I asked if she was okay and heard a short reply: “I’m fine. It’s none of your business.” I remember her disappearing into the crowd as the circle around us grew tighter.
By sheer luck, someone had called the police. They took a long time to arrive. For about an hour, we held our ground, ignoring provocations. Dawn was near, and people still wanted entertainment.
At some point, two large men stepped out of the crowd, approached me, and asked what was happening. After hearing the story, they showed parliamentary IDs. But the crowd didn’t care who they beat. They were told to put the IDs away — or they would be covered in blood.
By another coincidence, one of them quickly called Kyiv. Only then did an order finally come for the police to arrive and disperse everyone.
I’ll add this: little has changed since then. Many problems here are still solved not by law, but by connections and phone calls.
Miraculously, no one was hurt, though the threats were very real.
The moral is simple: no one asked me to intervene. I did — and I could have been seriously hurt. I was just lucky. No one was going to thank me.
Sometimes it’s worth asking first whether help is needed before stepping in.
2026 Book Log
Jan. 16th, 2026 06:57 am1.The Magic Mountain, Thomas Mann
2. Invisible Line, Su J. Sokol
Non-Fiction
1. Mavericks: Life Stories and Lessons of History's Most Extraordinary Misfits, Jenny Draper
(no subject)
Jan. 4th, 2026 05:49 pmAge: 32
I mostly post about: Day to day, real life stuff. I mostly talk about whatever's going on, which can just be about taking the kids somewhere cool, visiting family, my job, etc. I do tend to keep negative posts private just because I'm using the space to vent and don't necessarily want advice, so I'd say my posts are also typically positive. I also try to include photos in every post and love seeing photos from friends
My hobbies/interests are: Reading, traveling, video games, going to concerts, collecting vinyl, lego, dark academia, tarot, coffee, all things horror
I'm looking to meet people who: have similar interests and values, who I can get along with and become friends with outside of this site. I love being friends on other social media platforms, talking outside of just DW, meeting up with people, etc
My posting schedule tends to be: For someone who is chronically online, I tend to only post about once or twice a month. I do read everyone's posts and comment when I can, but I don't like commenting just for the sake of commenting. I enjoy comments that can start a conversation or come from a place of sincerity and don't just say something like, "looks fun!"
When I add people, my dealbreakers are: I'm not into fandom whatsoever, so if your journal is majorly or exclusively about fandom, we won't work out. Also regardless of political views, I will most likely never talk about it on my journal and don't love reading about politics, so if that's something that's important to you, we might not mesh well
(no subject)
Jan. 4th, 2026 10:45 pmAge: 30-something
I mostly post about:
Stories from my life — my thoughts and feelings, especially during this time of war in Ukraine. I try to capture emotions honestly: memories of a peaceful past, reflections on the present, and tales from my life as a mariner and traveler.
This journal is still in its early days, after a long break from writing. Each entry is posted in both English and the original language. I also share my own photographs — from different times, chosen to reflect my current mood.
My hobbies are:
Photography (almost professional), lomography (daily photos of interesting moments), music (acoustic, alternative, instrumental covers), psychology, and classical literature. I love discovering new things — ideas, places, people.
My fandoms are:
Honestly, I’m not active in any specific fandom. But I enjoy reading and learning, especially to improve my English.
I'm looking to meet people who:
…feel connected to what I write — kindred spirits or simply those who find meaning in my words. I’m open to everyone (with one exception: I don’t welcome those who support or excuse the war). My posts are open and honest. I’d love to find new interesting people to read and connect with.
My posting schedule tends to be:
Currently daily, or a few times a week — depending on my free time.
When I add people, my dealbreakers are:
No major dealbreakers — most of what matters is already said above.
Before adding me, you should know:
I’m an open person without any particular agenda. I’m Ukrainian — and perhaps that matters now, just to avoid misunderstandings.
Welcome aboard. These are my messages in a bottle.